Who’d wanna be such an Asshole

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I can imagine that quite a lot of people that wouldn’t mind losing part of their social skills to became an asshole as Bukowski if that would mean having his touch with words. The poem or the short-story or the long story or the grocery store list. I wouldn’t mind losing a pinky either (the right one, since the other is custom-build for nose-piking). If I would give up my social skills to write like him? No. I would, but it’s too late. I gave them up long ago in exchange for being tall and handsome. I must resign to have back aches whilst writing poorly, perched over a flattering mirror.

If you’re unfamiliar with Bukowski and if you’re wondering if he’s indeed such an asshole just look at some of his writing:

I just went ahead and gave her an old-fashioned horse fuck. The bed bounced and she grimaced. Then came low moans. I slowed down a bit, then picked up the pace and ripped it home. She appeared to climax along with me. Of course, a man never knew. I rolled off. I’d always liked Canadian Bacon.

in Women, 1978

If you’re still unconvinced of the degree of assholness of the guy you can read more of his work; it’s all over the internet. But what’s the point? If this didn’t convince you’re a chauvinistic prick. Get a beer and a wife-beater and join the club.

great art is bulshit buy tacos charles bukowski Whod wanna be such an Asshole

… or kebab.

If you don’t feel like joining the club and you in fact are offended by this writing, well, don’t be. If you care about the personality of your favourite writers, musicians, actors, painters, well, don’t. If you dislike Woody Allen’s films because he married his daughter in-law or Polanksi’s for allegedly raping a little girl or Celine’s books for being anti-Semite or Aristotle’s works for being a supporter of slavery, well, please don’t. Despise them as human beings, insult them for being who they are. Go ahead. Arrest them if they comitted a crime – but please provide them with paper, pencils and brushes and paints.

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I’m pretty sure he was an asshole too.

You don’t want to be an asshole? Me neither. Gladly there are those who don’t mind the role and even relish.

A sincere thank you to the assholes of the world.

Woke up this morning and it seemed to me, that every night turns out to be a little bit more like Bukowski.

And yeah, I know he’s a pretty good read.

But God who’d wanna be?

God who’d wanna be such an asshole?

God who’d wanna be? God who’d wanna be such an asshole?

Well we sat on the edge of the river, the crowd screamed “Sacrifice the liver!”

If God takes life, he’s an Indian giver. So tell me now why you’ll tell me never.

Who would wanna be?

Who would wanna be such a control freak?

Well who would wanna be?

Who would wanna be such a control freak?

Well see what you wanna see. You should see it all.
Well take what you want from me. You deserve it all.
Nine times out of ten, our hearts just get dissolved.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall.
But one time out of ten, everything is perfect for us all.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall.

Here we go!
If God controls the land and disease, and keeps a watchful eye on me, if he’s really so damn mighty, well my problem is that I can’t see, well who’d wanna be?

Who’d wanna be such a control freak?

Well who would wanna be?

Who would wanna be such a control freak?

Evil home stereo, what good songs do you know?
Evil me, oh yeah I know, what good curves can you throw?
Well all that icing and all that cake, I can’t make it to your wedding, but I’m sure I’m gonna be at your wake. You were talk, talk, talk, talkin’ in circles that day, when you get to the point make sure that I’m still awake, OK?

Went to bed and didn’t see why every day turns out to be a little bit more like Bukowski. And yeah, I know he’s a pretty good read. But God who’d wanna be? God who’d wanna be such an asshole?

by Modest Mouse, “Bukowski”

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6 Comments

  1. Yeh other than people’s art I could care less about their personal lives and all that goes along with that. And I wish they would shut up really haha I don’t need to know. And I have no affinity for Charles anyway, at least when it comes to his personality. Just sayin’. I don’t need to know more :)

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